OK the wheels of random are really turning now as we go everyone’s favourite Sweden away from Sweden, Ikea.
For a start they do sweet teddy bears named Bjorn, because you can’t call a teddy bear ‘Teddy’ that’s racist.
There are lots of furniture to choose from, with lot’s of funny names.
You like sofa beds then you’ll love getting some BEDDINGE.
You’re going to need DUKEN for some doinking in the bedroom.
Your friends don’t like your kitchen, well FAKTUM with your cabinets.
There are also mirrors to show how KRABB you look in the morning, well get used to it that’s what MINDE does to you.
Having a bad day? Taking one down? Well sing a sad SONGE just to turn it around. Don’t judge me lyrifags.
You came out? Well they might have figured it out from the noise you were making with Gordon RANSBY.
Who will save the universe and bring light to dark time? Flash, GYLLEN saviour of the universe.
Wipe your SINDALs on the mat, you’re tracking shit on the carpet again.
I bet you’re VANDRING what other puns I will come up with next.
Okay I’ll stop it now……….. NATT!
It’s not just about the products on sale, it’s about the freebies. Like the many pencils that you take even if it says not to, it’s like a wet paint sign you will always touch it. And there is a restaurant onsite where you can eat Swedish food like hot dogs, meatballs and gingerbread houses. After the day’s shopping is done you go home and realize you got robbed by people from a neutral country. But they will do it again, because you will let them.
Joking aside Ikea is pretty good, slightly overpriced in some areas but I dare to find a store that is as quirky as Ikea.